Note: This post was not intended as a dig at anybody in particular - it was borne out of conversations with many dialysis patients, and as this site is intended as an advocacy blog for ALL dialysis patients, it is directed at ALL friends and family of ALL dialysis patients.

Now on to the article:

Great, that’s good news, tell them I said “Good One!”

Now, a couple of things for you to think about before you go sprouting the good news to anyone who’ll listen, or before you lob at the hospital to visit, carrying flowers, goody-baskets or whatever.

It’s fun knowing someone who’s had a “cool” event happen in their life. Especially something as life changing as an organ transplant, but before you let it become a “cool” event in YOUR life, you might like to take a minute to answer the following questions.

• When was the last time you took the time to visit that person at the dialysis unit?
• When was the last time you invited that person for a meal and prepared a meal that fitted in with their dietary requirements?
• When was the last time you thought of that person and decided to write a letter or card, or call them telling them that you supported them in what you understand must be an incredibly difficult time for them
• When was the last time you brought that person a small gift to dialysis to help brighten their day and kill some time (ie some sweets, a crossword book etc)?
• When was the last time you took something in to that person in the dialysis unit to help them kill some time (ie a board game, a deck of cards)?

If you have trouble answering any or most of these questions, you need to think long and hard before you make their good news your good news. So before you bowl in to the hospital waving your arms in congratulations, stop and think if that person would really want you there as part of the team of friends and family who have supported him/her through the last few years on dialysis, or wether you are just blowing in at the last minute as part of the “good news story”.

If you’re reading this and have a friend or family member who is yet to get their transplant, remember that although you get to breeze in and visit them on dialysis whenever it suits you, or fits in with your busy life, they are there three or four times a week, week in and week out, with no time off for good behaviour, no time off for public holidays, and no opportunity to have a day off if they are sick. So take a minute in your busy life to think about whether that person would want you there next to the bed in that transplant ward in the hospital if you haven’t managed to find the time to ever so slightly brighten their day once in a while.

Peace out!